If you stand up like a nail then you will be knocked down
- from 'Faster' by Manic Street Preachers
The Doctor fell down on the bed, her body bouncing on the soft springy mattress; her breasts
kept wobbling excitedly for a couple of seconds afterwards.She looked up to
see Yin standing over her, a smile on his face and then he carefully fell on top of her.She giggled as he began to nuzzle at the left side of her neck and the ear too.“We’ll be at the planet in a minute.”She let it go
however as he began to kneed her breasts softly and gently with his free hand.Kneading
them like twin balls of floury dough and he was an expert baker.She kissed him
back, nibbling his ear and whispering sweet nothings into it.“Oh stroke
me harder, that’s it, play with my body.”She teased her knees apart
and wrapped one leg around Yin’s lower body, pulling him closer to where she wanted him to be.
Yin was constantly amazed by the Doctor’s inventiveness.For someone who claimed to have been sexually repressed, for such a very long time, she was a very quick study. “You are so freaking hot.”He
pulled the Doctor’s top up, revealing her love mounds and he gently popped them out of their restrictive bra cups.“These are so perfect.”He
kissed them both.“So damn perfect.”
“I have the best boyfriend.”The
Doctor said to Yin as she held his head against her erect nipples.“Maybe
we can wait a few more minutes, yes, mmmm oh yes.An hour, we can wait an hour.”Maybe two she dared suggest to herself as she rubbed his buttocks with her hands.He had been doing his buns of steel exercises, she was thrilled.
Yin wound up the spontaneous foreplay.“Knowing
you’re going to be this turned on for the rest of today, it’s going to keep you and I excited.”He stood up.
“You’re very naughty.”The
Doctor said as she adjusted her bra, putting her breasts back in their little homes, then she adjusted her top again and the
creases just fell out.“I’m going to have to keep my eye on you.”She touched up her lipstick and wiped the excess off of Yin’s face.“I suppose we can have a turn around the planet.It’s
called Orman’s World after a 21st century author on Earth.”
“Oh, one of those worlds.”Yin replied.“A theme planet, designed only to persuade tourists to part with their cash
for a few set pieces you can find far cheaper on any other world.”
“Not exactly, unless the theme is gardens of the ages.I guess it is a theme planet then.There’s the usual touristy stuff
but I’m sure we can make our own tour of the gardens an experience to remember.You know, you’re so grumpy when you’re sleepy.”
“Who’s sleepy?”Yin asked.I’m sure we’ll find something of interest on the planet, even if we have
to make our own entertainment.”Yin replied and made sure the strange package
in his inside jacket pocket was secure and the catch was still in the locked position.He didn’t want it to pop open too early and spoil everything.
“Not in public.”The Doctor’s
mouth hung wide open in shock.“We’d never be allowed back there
The Orman history museum was really quite interesting.It centred on the life of Orman and her relationship with her greatest love.There had been a number of pictures and statues from over the ages, as well as the inevitable collection of 21st centaury
items to give the patrons a look at what life was like ten thousand years ago.Hand
in hand they had strolled around the building, looking at this and that, that and the other.The Doctor thought it was all wrong however.“Those are not used
for ritual display.”She blushed.“They’re tampons, for when, you know…that time.”
“Oh.”Yin replied.“I guess pads won the hygiene war and these were never heard about ever again.”
“You think?”The Doctor asked.“Mind you I have three or four boxes in the bathroom.Maybe I could start a revival?It’s so nice to have
a choice, don’t you think?”
“It’s really not my area of expertise Doctor.”Yin replied.“I’ll leave that area to you.”
“Well you like to visit it a lot.”The
Doctor said and kissed Yin softly.
“I’m a visitor, not a resident.”Yin
kissed the Doctor.“Only the residents get to set the rules.”
“Oh my Omega, you are so sweet.”The
Doctor said.“Any sweeter and I’d have to cover you with cream and
eat you all up, here and now.”
“With people watching?”Yin laughed.“You weren’t keen on that idea before, as I recall.”
“Not that, is that ALL you think about?”
“No, I think about us, our kids, our future and making love with you.I also think about the smile on your lips when you’re happy and the tremble on them when you’re
upset.I think about your hair in the sunlight and your eyes in the moonlight.”
“Ok, stop.”The Doctor said softly.“Now you’re just being perfect.”She put her arms around his neck and kissed him, enthusiastically.
After a few hours more, they’d found a nice little bistro for lunch.The décor wasn’t too much of any one thing, the seats were comfortable and the service prompt and
polite.The Doctor had ordered a cheese salad, claiming that the cheese was the
finest in this sector of the cosmos.Yin had a steak with mushroom and pepper
sauce with a side order of potatoes and sour cream.He dipped half a potato in
the sour cream and held it up for the Doctor to eat.
The Doctor managed to eat the potato but she had sour cream all over her mouth and she quickly
dabbed it away with a napkin.To return the charming gesture she picked up a
chunk of cheese from her own plate, dipped it in the sour cream and fed it to Yin.
Yin had to agree the cheese was nice.“Where
do you want to go after lunch?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to move after all this.”The Doctor replied.“Maybe a slow walk around the gardens?”
“Sounds wonderful to me.”Yin replied.“Do you want to get dessert now?”
“Are you deliberately trying to ruin my figure?”The Doctor asked, putting on an air of fake distress.
“No, but I’d like to hold you in my arms right now.”Yin said softly.
“I’d like that too.”The Doctor
smiled and ate another mouthful of her salad.
Yin poured himself another glass of water.“Do
you want a top up?”
“Yes please.”The Doctor passed him
her glass.“About an inch off the top will do thanks.”
Yin poured the water.“I hear there’s
this really sexy woman on this planet, a total babe.”
“Should I be jealous?”The Doctor
“Oh yes, she’s perfect, she’s the most beautiful women ever born.”
“When do I get to meet her?”
“Oh every time you look in the mirror.”Yin grinned.
“That is the worst line ever.”The
Doctor laughed.“I loved it, thank you.”
The gardens were simply beautiful.The Doctor
felt her soul was being filled up with the elegant splendour of the flowers.Acres
of garden stretched before and aft and she wondered if she could ever see it all.They
passed roses over every colour, including some behind heavily shielded lead walls whose colours were in the gamma ray spectrum
of the EM spectrum.There were orchids, once her favourite, now just part of
the gorgeous ensemble.There were daisies and posies and daffodils and tulips
from New Amsterdam.There were carnations and chrysanthemums and rhododendrons.Dog’s
mercury and even eight leaf clovers.The display of plant life was truly amazing,
even the eye stalks of Spiradon (lacking their toxic spore glands) were beautiful in their own special way.
They bought ice cream cones from a tiny little vending hut.The Doctor had just a squirt of raspberry sauce on her cone, while Yin went for the works: sauce, chopped peanuts and
a chocolate flake.
They sat on a bench, overlooking a beautiful panorama.The ground dropped gently away to reveal a small lake with trees around the far shore and what looked like large blue
swans swimming about on the mirror flat surface of the water.They finished off
their cones and Yin suggested they go to a small glade over to one side.
The glade was little more than a horseshoe of large red fruited bushes and tall slender trees.It was a combination of shade and light in just the right proportions.
Now was the time.Yin put his hand inside his
jacket pocket and flicked the catch on his special surprise.She’d never
expect this, not in a million years.He could barely breathe with the anticipation
of what he was about to do.“Doctor.I have to ask you something.”
“What is it?”The Doctor wondered
what Yin had to say to her.
Yin dropped to one knee and pulled the ring out of its box in his jacket pocket and he held
it up for his beloved to see.“Will you marry me?”
The Doctor’s hearts lurched and her mind began to swim left then right then left again.Tears began to form in her eyes and she let out a tiny gasp as she brought up her
hands to her chin.She nodded.“Yes,
I’d love to marry you.”
Yin grinned as he put the engagement ring on the Doctor’s finger.
“It’s so beautiful.”The Doctor
looked at the seriously chunky diamond in the sunlight, it flickered like fire.She
threw her arms around him and hugged him.“I love you.”She said after a few seconds.“I do, I really do.I’ve never been so happy.”
Yin heard shouting and he looked around to see three maniacs wielding swords running towards
them.“I think we walked somewhere we shouldn’t have.I hope they’re not upset or something.Do you think
it’s one of those war re-enactment events?”
“Frak!”The Doctor swore.“That one on the left is the one who tried to kill me by pushing me in that airlock.I’d recognise that mouth anywhere.They’re Solar
Knights.This is not good, they swore they’d have their revenge, I didn’t
think I’d ever run into them again.”Slowly she raised her hands
into the air, taking the chance to look at her engagement ring again in the process.
Jeremiah looked at the Doctor and her pet human.“We
meet again, Time Lady.”
“What is it about guys and penis insecurity?”The Doctor asked, looking at the sword in the knight’s hands.Then
she looked at the female.“You shouldn’t envy them, honey, you should
Helga smacked the bitch in the mouth with the back of her hand.“Shut up, I’m going to enjoy filleting you alive.”
Yin launched himself at the butch woman but the two men grabbed hold of him and held him back.”
“We’ve got a real fighter here.”Paolo
laughed.“Pity you weren’t born on our world, we could have been
friends.”He punched the human in the stomach.“Instead I guess we’ll just have to be best enemies.”He then kicked Yin hard in the side of the head.
“Yin!”The Doctor screamed as Yin
fell to the floor.“He’s my boyfriend.”She cried.“We just got engaged.I love him.”
Jeremiah thought for a second.“This is
just so incredible.The Grand Paladin himself must see this with his own eyes.”
“What do you mean?”The Doctor asked.
“Not only is our hated enemy female but she consorts with men like a whore in lust.”Jeremiah laughed as Paulo and Helga dragged her back to their ship.He picked up Yin’s prone body himself and carried it on his shoulder to his ship.He considered Yin a fellow warrior and it was dishonourable to kill such a one while he was unconscious.Far better to wake him up first and make a duel of it.Once on Solaris Prime he was sure their lives would be ended in a matter of minutes, an hour at most.
Once the two bodies were bundled into the ship Paolo launched the ship up into the air and
then out into space on the journey home to Solaris Prime.However the ship’s
controls started to malfunction.The ship began to fall back into the gravity
well of the planet.He fought the controls as hard as he could but they were
The Doctor smiled to herself as the ship span out of control.Her handiwork had ensured that the ship was on its way back to Orman’s World.
The Ship landed.The Doctor lashed out at the
nearest knight with her feet.Her wrist manacles came off easily and she threw
the heavy metal restraints at the body of Jeremiah in sheer desperation.Amazingly
she caught him in the stomach and he bent over in pain.
Yin tripped Helga up with his feet and she hit the cold metal floor face first with a sickening
That left only Paolo in the control room.Acting
quickly the Doctor opened the ship’s door with her sonic screwdriver and she ran outside, holding on to Yin’s
hand for comfort.They ran back towards the TARDIS. Pausing only to see the three
Solar Knights emerge from their ship looking angry and waving their swords with lethal intent.“This should be interesting.”The Doctor said to Yin and seconds
later a huge juggernaut smashed into the three knights, crushing them under its huge wheels.“Checkmate.”The Doctor said to Yin.
“You set them up?”Yin asked.
“When you live as long as I do you see certain patterns repeat themselves again and
again.With careful planning it’s possible to take advantage of those patterns
and use them to your own ends.”
“You knew I was going to propose, didn’t you?”Yin felt saddened.
“Actually you’re the one chaotic variable in my life I can’t understand
or figure out.I had no idea you were going to ask me to marry you and I’m
thrilled beyond words to say yes.I do want to be your wife; you’re the
most important thing in my life now and being married to you feels so natural, so very right.”She looked at the ring.“Mrs. Chung, it has a nice sound
“Or Dr. Chung.”Yin kissed the Doctor.
“I think I prefer being the missus.”The
Doctor smiled.“It’s something that says we’re together, that
we belong to each other.”She let her hand wander down to his bottom as
they walked back to the TARDIS.She grew even more in love with Yin every step
of the way back to their shared home.
The TARDIS’ internal lights flickered on as the Doctor and Yin entered.The Doctor quickly examined the ships readings of the spaceship belonging to the Solar Knights.She hacked into the black box flight recorder and downloaded details of the co-ordinates to their home
planet.“Oh yes, I was near there just before I met you.They must have detected the ship’s signature and followed us.We’ve stayed more or less in your time zone so no wonder they were able to find us.If we’d dipped into the past or the future they’d never have found us and I wouldn’t
have had to have that salad for lunch.”
“How can eating a salad kill three people?”
“Cause and effect.”The Doctor replied
with a chilling tone.
“So that truck that almost ran me down, the one you saved me from?”
“Just a coincidence and the idea for the solution.As I’ve said I’ve got a bit of a blind spot when it comes to you.I cannot rely on my intuition of the cosmos; I have to use my hearts and my head.”
Yin sat down on the sofa.“So what now?We go out to celebrate our engagement?”
“In a bit.”The Doctor replied.“First I want to pay a visit to this Grand Paladin and have a little chat with
him.I can’t have him sending thugs who hurt my boyfriend.”
“You could be going into a trap.”Yin
“Quite possibly.Those three could just
have been the bait.”
“We need intelligence, details of the disposition of their forces and their supply lines.We need to know their strengths and their weaknesses and we also need to know ours.”
“Oh I know a bit.”The Doctor smiled.“I’ve faced them before.I
just need a few questions answering.”
“Your confidence is your strength.”Yin
said to the Doctor.“However it’s also a weakness.”
“All strengths are weaknesses to be exploited.”The Doctor said.“An old friend told me that, well he was an enemy
at the time, but a friend before that and a friend afterwards.”
“Wise words, very dangerous in the hands of an expert.”
“I’m an expert on everything.”The
Doctor smiled.“That’s why I always win.Well almost always win.”
“I just hope you know what we’re doing.”Yin smiled as the Doctor sat down next to him.“Now why don’t
we do something relaxing, you are the future Mrs Chung after all.”
“What do you suggest?”The Doctor
asked.“Make out on this sofa?”
“If you insist.”Yin kissed the Doctor.“I will offer no resistance.”
“Resistance is useless.”The Doctor
melted into the kiss and for a moment they became as one being fused by their embrace.Plus he had his hand up her top, copping himself a good old feel.
The golden dome of the temple of the sun briefly grew brighter in the hot sunlight as nearby a strange blue box landed inside the temple grounds.The
white marble pathway that let to the main entrance caused the sound of two inch heels to click clack loudly as one of the
two visitors walked along.The Doctor looked at Yin.“Remember...just let me do all the talking.I don’t
want them twisting your words against you.They’re sticklers for their
“Can I breathe in and out?”Yin chuckled.
“If you have to.”The Doctor replied.
They walked into the inner sanctum of the Solar Knights, neither really expected to get out
in one piece.
They passed along huge pillars of stone, each carved with scenes of a great battle.“They’re called Atlas Columns.”The Doctor
explained.“They depict the creation of the Order of Solaria.Like the Order of Oberon and the Order of Excelsior they were a bunch of warrior priest who set out to
bring honour and justice to the universe.Sadly like the others they fell into
disrepute, their honourable path gave way to intimidation and greed.They sought
power and control; they invaded worlds and slaughtered millions of unarmed people.On
one small remote world two friends and I said ‘enough’ and we somehow managed to defeat them.In their typical arrogance they perceived me as their enemy, the great evil they must fight a holy war
against.If only they could see the true path their ancestors set for them, they
could be of great help once again.”
“An interesting, but twisted philosophy.”The Grand Paladin’s voice echoed out.“Our true path is to
bring order to the chaos.Those who resists are enemies of that glorious crusade.Their guilt in the eyes of Solaria demands their punishment.Some we rehabilitate in the mines of those worlds we liberate and others sadly must be put to death because
the evil in their minds is simply too strong to let go and allow that person to see true goodness.”
“Spoken like a true psychopath.”The
Doctor retorted.“Tell me have you always been this mad or is this a special
display for our benefit?”
“Tell me what happened to my three knights?”Excelsior asked in reply.
The Doctor looked around, trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from.“They had a little accident, I’m afraid they’re unable to do anything more than decompose
from now on.Their ship is still on Orman’s World, though it’ll need
a new computer. Someone must have accidentally reprogrammed the old one.”
“Your words condemn you.”
“Your insanity blinds you.”
“My Solar Knights will have fun with you and your boy bitch.You are nothing but a menace to the future, my future.I will
brook no more interference in my plans to rule this universe like a god.”
Yin twirled his finger beside his head and the Doctor laughed at him.“I seriously doubt your ability to deliver on your oh so bold words.You dare not even show your face to us.I’d like to see you before
I defeat you.”
There was a noise, above.A chain rattled and
a metal cage descended.Inside of the cage was a terrible sight.Excelsior, the Grand Paladin, was little more than a husk of decayed flesh, split open in several places
to reveal distended bowls full of black ichor.His open dead mouth hung open
in either a prayer or a scream and his empty dead eyes had been pecked away by crows.In their stead were metal optics, and lodged inside the mouth was a crude speaker.Verminus Excelsior’s brain had been downloaded onto a simple hard drive device.It must have become terribly corrupted, the Doctor thought to herself.“You’ve
looked better.”She looked at Yin.“We met years ago, I thought he died.”
“I died many times inside.You defeated
my army, I returned in disgrace.I was demoted. I had to work myself all the
way up through the ranks again.I wanted only one thing, revenge for what you
did to me.”
“You caused all your problems yourself.You
were an idiot then and you’re an idiot now.Obviously your brain has become
severely damaged, when were you last defragmented?I recommend a good long terminal
shutdown and a reboot to the Order of Solaris.”
A second metal cage descended, much quicker than the first.It landed on the Doctor and Yin, scooping them safely inside of its structure.Then it was lifted up high into the air and swung out over a huge cauldron of molten metal.
“You shall pay for your sins Doctor; I’m not fooled by your change of appearance.I learned the secrets you hid from me.”A spotlight illuminated the torn dead body of Zoe Herriot.“She
died screaming out all your secrets, Time Lady.”
“No!”The Doctor yelled and tried
to pull the bars of her cage apart with no success.
A second spotlight illuminated the dismembered body of Jamie McCrimmon.“He died believing that you would come and rescue him.”The Grand Paladin laughed.“You were a fool Doctor, now I have you
and your new favourite.You wanted to spend the rest of the lives together?Well now you can, because you will both die together.You will both have your bodily remains cleansed in the hot purity of the burning metals we forge our armour with.The holy flames with sear away your sins and wash over you two with all the agony
of a slow and painful death.”
The Doctor looked at Yin.“If only I had
my lock pick.”She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her sonic
screwdriver.“Oh wait, I do.”She used it to melt the bars on the side of the cage.Then she jumped
out of the cage and landed a mere twenty feet below.“Jump.”She called up to Yin.“I’ll
catch you, hopefully.Exactly how heavy are you again?”
Falling to death was more attractive that burning to death so Yin jumped out of the cage.He fell on top of the Doctor and was sure that he’d crushed her beneath his
body.“Are you hurt?”He
“I thought I told you not to speak?”The
Doctor said slowly.“I’m fine.”She stood up and saw the Grand Paladin drop down next to where she was standing.“Well it’s been a lovely chat, but we really have to go now.”
“No, I shall summon my Solar Knights from their duties.”The Grand Paladin’s electronic voice warbled.
“She’s going to kick your…whatever.”Yin said to the dead guy/robot/whatever.
The Doctor took a new device out of her pocket and activated it.The TARDIS materialised around herself and Yin.“It
worked.”She said, as surprised as anyone.“Now we just have to dematerialise, because there’s another treat in store.”
A few seconds later the TARDIS materialised on a hill overlooking the Temple of the Sun.Even though they were five miles away it still got hot as
an asteroid from space streaked through the atmosphere and rammed itself into the command centre of the Solar Knights.
“You knew that was going to happen?”Yin
wondered what he really knew about the Doctor.She was one sneaky person but
he loved her so much.
“I accidentally hit the asteroid when I was passing though here, before I met you.I could have saved them if they were willing to change their ways, embrace peace and
love and respect instead of war, oppression and tyranny.”
“There’s bound to be some of them out there still.”Yin was suddenly concerned.
“No doubt about it, but without their insane leader they may be willing to listen to
a more reasonable voice from now on.Perhaps one day they really will be a force
for good in the universe once again.”
Yin held out a bottle of champagne.“We
haven’t celebrated our engagement yet.I think we’ve had enough of
death for one day, let’s celebrate life instead.To the hottest couple
in the universe, may everyone be as happy as we are one day.”
“Let me get a couple of glasses from the kitchen.”The Doctor rushed back inside the TARDIS.”
Yin followed slowly.He couldn’t wait for
his family to meet the Doctor.He knew his mother would just simply adore her,
maybe his bothers and sister would to, although they were much more conservative, having been upset when he didn’t want
to enter the family business.He was happy though and he was sure that they would
at least be happy for him at meeting the woman he loved, his soul mate.He took
one final look at the glowing white hot crater five miles away.It was easily
a mile across, but the blast pattern had gone away from them.He shrugged, he
was glad to have escaped alive.
That night they drank the champagne, the Doctor admired her beautiful new ring, she even wrote
to a couple of her oldest and dearest friends to tell them the good news.Then
they went to bed together and had no intention of sleeping for as long as they possibly could.
A major shift in the arc as Yin proposes to the Doctor and she accepts.
The trap within a trap is very reminicent of the 7th Doctor and like him the 14th Doctor prefers to fight her battles
by using other things than aggression and violence, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made.
It occured to me that a crazy obsessive like the Grand Paladin would do anything he could to find his victim and by torturing
and killing Jamie and Zoe it further ties in with the 2nd Doctor's encounter with the Solar Knights and their defeat at his
hands. Plus it strengthens the 14th Doctor's resolve that her actions are necessary as the Grand Paladin is utterly
mad and very dangerous.