Time Lady 2

The Meddler of Time

Time Lady 2
Book One
Book Two
The Whitechapel Murders
Book Three

1,100 words approx...

The planet Serenity was a warm world, closer to its sun than Earth but it was bigger and covered in 85% water, which was in several places twice as deep than the deepest ocean on Earth.  The main continent was a large ring with a central freshwater lake at the heart of its donut mass.  Around this inside edge a huge tourist area had established itself over the years.  The northern quadrant was populated by mainly humanoid cultures from off world.  It was here that the TARDIS had arrived unnoticed and its three passengers emerged to find themselves in a shopper’s paradise.


“I’ve been here before.”  The Doctor said to her two companions.  “This is where I met Yin.”


“We know.”  Dave said with all the subtlety of a train wreck.  “You’ve told us the story seven times already.”


“Well prepare for the live action version.”  The Doctor replied.  “Look, there I am over there.  Omega in Shada, what am I wearing?”


“I’ve seen you wearing that outfit before.”  Erin replied helpfully.


“I know, but it’s so last year.”


“This is last year, for her.”  Erin added, again helpfully.


“Well ok, then, but I reserve the right to send myself up another time.”  The Doctor went over to a coffee shop to buy herself a cuppa to cheer herself up.


“You really hurt her feelings.”  Erin complained at Dave.


“If I hear that bloody story one more time I’m going to stab forks in her tongue.”  Dave growled.


“I think it’s romantic.”


“I think you’re retarded.”


“Screw you.”


“You already did, remember?”


“Oh, you…you… horrid boy!”


“I’m deeply wounded by your sarcasm.”  Dave laughed.  “Oh look, someone’s going to run lover boy over.”


Erin watched as a beardy weirdie tried to run Yin over, but the younger version of the Doctor saved him in time.  “Look, she’s saved his life.  Just like she said.”


“Look at our Doctor though.  She’s grabbed that driver and she’s kicking the crap out of him.  Way to go Doctor.”


“Ouch, I think she’s broken a nail.”


“She told me she hated physical violence.”


“Yes, we often tell men things they want to hear.”


“You had no complaints when we were in bed together.”


“I didn’t want to make you feel inadequate.”


“Either way you were fantastic, that’s all I care about.”








“You’re cute when you’re mad.”


“Shut up and kiss me already.”


They kissed.




The Doctor shook her head when she approached her kissing companions.  “I thought you two weren’t talking to each other ever again.”


“It’s a bonus night thing.”  Erin replied.  “We have one last shag before realizing that we want other things in life.”


“Shag?”  The Doctor shuddered.  “The only shag I like is the shag pile in my bedroom.  That’s a horrid word for such a beautiful experience.”


“Not the way she does it.”  Dave muttered.  “She’s like a wild animal in the sack.”


“Are we in some sort of parallel cyberpunk reality?”  The Doctor wondered out loud.”


“Who cares, I just what this man to give me a good hard seeing to.”  Erin simulated doing oral sex.


“That’s quite enough of that young lady.”  The Doctor muttered.  “Rassilon, now I’m starting to sound like your mother.  I am not old enough to be that old yet.  I’m off to go and ignore you two for a while.  I’ll be in the strip club dancing on the pole there.”


“I don’t think she’s acting like her old self.”  Erin said to Dave.  “I think something’s wrong with her.  She’s never nagged me like that before.”


“What about that pole dancing remark?”


“Oh, we’ve both done that.  Taking your kit off for some easy cash is hardly anything new for either of us.”


“I think someone’s messing about with your pasts again.”  Dave said.  “Like the Doctor was going on about.  You two are not pole dancing prostitutes.”


“Oh, yeah.”  Erin remembered that she wasn’t a hooker at all.  “Damn, I was going to charge you double for swallowing.”


The Doctor wandered back over.  “Ok, this is war now.  I’m going to find the bitch responsible for this and I’m going to kick her scrawny butt all the way across the galaxy, I thought I was gay there for a minute.  I was on my way to the lesbian strip club.  To strip naked and dance on a pole for extremely rich and extremely gay women.  Some of which I might have met before.  Imagine the embarrassment if they request a private dance?  I’ll never be able to defeat tyrants with a clear conscience again.”


“Doctor, you can put your blouse back on now.”  Dave and Erin both burst out laughing.  “There goes the bra.”


“Fragging Shada!”  The Doctor frantically covered up her partial nudity.  “Hey, it’s not my fault I love sex with men so much.  Yin and I posed for the Karma Sutra you know, but they would put the alien sex techniques in it, they said it was physically impossible for a human woman to do that to herself.  What do they know though?”  The Doctor sighed.  “Well I think we’re done here.  I saved Yin’s life, beat someone up and also saved my marriage by making sure that I prefer men and not women in bed.  I just hope that this meddling stops soon or else I could end up in bed with a Sontaran.”  The Doctor headed back towards the TARDIS.  “Come on then you two, you can hold hands if you want to, but any kissing and I’ll meddle with your lives and I’m far better at it than anyone else and that someone who turned me into an exhibitionist is going to find out that it is possible to push me way too far.  I feel like a neutron bombing is in order.”


“Is that wise?”  Erin asked.  “I mean you don’t want to kill innocent people.”


“Of course not, I’ll just take them to a deserted dead planet and nuke them there.  I do have a conscience you know.  I’m not a total sociopath you know.  I am not a mass-murdering tart with great shoes.  I’m the Doctor and I always win.”


“You’ve destroyed seventeen planets since I met you.  On seven different shopping worlds we’ve visited, they all called you World Killer.  I think you might need to see a psychiatrist.”


“I’ve got three already.”  The Doctor replied with a smile.  “One for the job and one each for you two.  Let’s go back to the TARDIS, and end this, not just for now but forever!”


“Now you’re quoting from Babylon 5.”


The Doctor turned about and marched herself back to the TARDIS.  Along the way her outfit changed from designer Italian, to French maid, to clown costume, to shoelace thong and bra to German bier Keller wench.  She was not amused, but her companions had a great laugh at her expense.


Here I tried to show that the time line is in flux as an unseen hand is constantly rewriting the characters...
We also revisit the Doctor's first meeting with Chung Ying from Doctor Who and the Solar Knights and see the other side of events leading up to their eventual marriage.

- the home of the 14th Doctor -