Time Lady 2

Decade of Decadence

Time Lady 2
Book One
Book Two
The Whitechapel Murders
Book Three

2,900 words...

Erin quite liked 1973.  It was a lot quieter than 2006, the streets weren’t packed with rivers of people; the roads weren’t chocked with an everlasting gridlock of pollution and stress.  The sun was brighter and the sky was bluer.  Above all though, the fashions were just to die for.  Where else could she wear yellow trousers?  Yellow was her favourite.  She associated it with health and vitality.  Her people considered yellow to be lucky and judging by the amount of looks she was getting, it was only a matter of time before her own luck paid off.  If only she could ditch the Doctor, who was the chaperone from hell.


“Will you just look at what you’re wearing?”  The Doctor complained for the fifth time.  “Those trousers are going to blind someone, probably me.”


“Oh yeah?”  Erin asked.  “This coming from the woman with a translucent sleeveless top.”  She knew the doctor deliberately wore a black bra so it could be seen.  “You’re going to cause an accident.”


“Good style never goes out of fashion.”  The Doctor replied.  “I’ll have you know that this suit is Italian.  It was hand made for me by the Medici family, they consider me their daughter.”


“That bunch of weirdoes?  They were so inbred; I swear they all had six fingers on each hand.”


“I don’t want to panic you Erin, but there’s a group of youths following us.”


“Are they cute guys?”


“No, they’re more like the scum that floats on the top of rain water.”


“A bit of rough?”


“Is that all you think of?”


“This from the woman with three carrier bags of lingerie?”


“I don’t often get the time to stock up on essentials, besides there’s nothing wrong with buying expensive undies.”


“There is if your boyfriend keeps ripping them off you every night.  Then you really have to get the cheap cotton ones or give up on wearing anything at all in bed.”


“Can we please not have this conversation, ever?”


“Having frank and honest and open talks about our sex lives, or lack there of, is what separates us from guys.”


“No it isn’t.  Being able to relate to our surroundings on an emotional level, forming deep and complex social relationships easily and often is what separates us from them.  Talking about knickers is hardly a woman-only activity.  I remember having long talks with my husband about what brands and colours to buy me and he mostly understood me.”


“Poor guy.”  Erin joked.


“Nah, I let him have his way with me often enough to make up for it.  To be honest, not often enough.”


“Ok, I get it, cut the chat.”  Erin pouted.  “It’s just that with my mother dead, I need a big sister role model to look to for my continued education in such girly matters.”


“I know, and while I’m happy to bring you chocolate cake when you have your period, I’m not going to tell you about the birds and the bees.”


“I know how to have sex, I’m not a v…ery experienced woman though.”


“It’s simple enough, he inserts part 1 into slot A, repeat until satisfaction.”


“You make it sound so romantic.”


“Reproduction is not romantic.  Romance is romantic.  The thrill of being chased.  Letting him slowly get closer and closer to you, letting him woo you with gifts and kisses.  Slowly establishing a deep emotional connection, basing your entire world around him, then when you can’t wait any longer you finally get what you want and let him think he should be grateful about it.  The actual act itself is quite nice, I mean we’re biologically engineered to like the sensations, but I want you to remember this clearly…childbirth hurts like you wouldn’t believe.  It’s like trying to crap out a bowling ball, with arms and legs and they never let you have the drugs you want either.  So no matter how good it feels, remember you’re in for a lot of hurt, while he gets to stand by and do nothing, the bastard.”


“So what does that have to do with the gang behind us?”


“Remember what I said, while you swing a punch at their face, or a kick at their small dangly bits.”


“You have a lot of issues Doctor.”  Erin smiled.


“Everyone has issues.”  The Doctor replied as she fished about inside her handbag.  “Ah, here we are, sonic grenades.  It can knock a dozen people out with a concussion wave.  Put your hands over your ears.”


Erin watched as the group of thugs collapsed unconscious in the street.  “I’ve so got to get me one of those.”




The UNIT base was quiet.  This was more like it.  Lots of cute sexy guys in uniform.  They all looked so pretty as they matched about.  Erin could watch them for days, months even.  However they had work to do and sadly they were stuck in a basement room with two other women, one called Carol and the other called Jo.


“I can’t believe you’re the Doctor.”  Jo Grant said with a giggle.  “You look so feminine.”


“Thanks.”  The Doctor grinned.  “I try to look my best.”


“How can we be sure she’s not just a nutter?”  Carol Bell asked.


“She’s a genius.”  Erin said quickly.


“I suppose I am.”  The Doctor replied and picked up a piece of chalk.  She then proceeded to write out a simple equation to determine the temporal dislocation between two similar atoms in different time zones.


“I’m convinced.”  Jo said when the Doctor ran out of space and started to write on the wall with permanent marker.


“The Brigadier won’t be pleased.  He was just talking to some guy about getting the Doctor membership of some gentleman’s club or other.  Load of rubbish if you ask me.”  Carol said to the other women.


“I’m quite sure I liked that sort of thing then.”  The Doctor muttered.  “Did I mention I’m a life member of the Mother’s Union?  And not from this me either.  No, my tenth self did them a great favour once.”


“Can we just get on with it?”  Erin asked the Doctor.


“Of course.”  The Doctor smiled.  “I just need to tell Carol what parts I need ordered.  A temporal scanner is easy to make, if you have the right components.  Alas Earth in this time period doesn’t have anything we need, so I’ll have to build them from other parts.  Cannibalise them, as it were.  It’s like scrapheap challenge but sensible.”


“How can I help?”  Jo asked.


“I need a chrono-temporal rectifier.  I know I have one, you’ll have to steal it from me.”  The Doctor drew a brief sketch for Jo on a piece of paper.  Whatever you do, don’t tell me that I’m here.  It’ll be bad enough with Alistair knowing, but I might do something silly, and I don’t want that on my conscience.”


Jo nodded.  “I understand Doctor.  By the way, I really like your suit.”


“Thanks.”  The Doctor said.  “I’ve always been envious of your fashion sense, at least since I was me anyway.”  She waited until Jo left.  “Now for the really tricky part.”  The Doctor said to Erin.  “I have to steal my favourite car.  We need to be mobile.  The Doctor sketched a quick design on another sheet of paper and handed it to Carol.  Once I’ve gone give this to me, I really think he’ll like it.  I was thinking of a second car about now and this will be right up my street, so to speak.”


Erin caught a glimpse of the car.  “That looks more like a UFO.”


“Well it can fly.”  The Doctor smiled.  “If you have the right engine in it of course.”




Erin quite liked driving about in the bright yellow car.  The car totally suited her trousers and she was also glad that she kept her hair nice and short, unlike the Doctor who was forced to wear a headscarf to keep her brown mop of hair under control.  She held the gizmo device in her hands and watched it for any slight change.  “What’s this thing supposed to do again?”


“It’ll locate the source of the temporal disruption.”  The Doctor shifted up another gear and floored the accelerator.  “I forgot how much I love driving.  I taught Shirley Muldowney how to drive you know.  She was a natural behind the steering wheel.”


“I think I’ll stick to automatics.”  Erin replied.  “They’re much easier to control and there’s one less foot pedal to worry about.”


The Doctor took a corner at 176 MPH, but thanks to the inertial limiters it felt more like a leisurely 20 MPH.  A blue light began to flash behind them.  “Oh dear, it’s the law.”  She floored the pedal again and left it eating her dust.  “This is fun, isn’t it?  Just us girls, a car and an open road.”


“I am not watching that movie again.”  Erin said quickly.  “And what’s with this belt?  It’s chaffing my breasts.  Why didn’t you invent something more boob-friendly?”


“I only had the one with me.”  The Doctor felt guilty as her breasts were chafe-free.  “We’d have to pop back to 2006 to get you another one.”


“Never mind, I’ll just wrap my jacket sleeve around it.”  Erin looked around the countryside as it whizzed past.  “How far are we going anyway?”  The device began to bleep and point to the left.  “Hey, it’s working.”


“About time too.”  The Doctor said to herself.  “We need to stop for fuel anyway.”


“We just passed a petrol station not so long ago.”


“Petrol?”  The Doctor scoffed.  “My dear Erin, do you think I would rebuild a car that relied on a fossil fuel for energy?  Good grief.  Bessie runs on a complex mixture of eggs, flour, sugar and water.”


“A cake mixture?”


“Exactly.  The free lunch drive is my finest invention.”  The Doctor patted the dashboard.  “Good old Bessie.”




The base looked unremarkable at first.  It seemed like any old abandoned building, with half the windows smashed out and the other half boarded over.  The immediate area was one of desolation, with any old rubbish left lying about, but if you looked very carefully, someone had gone to great lengths to leave a pathway through the half bricks, smashed milk bottles and other assorted rubbish.  The building was more than it appeared to be, obviously someone didn’t want anyone to get suspicious, but who wouldn’t be with this much evidence?  “What do we do now then Doctor?  Knock on the front door and pretend to be Salvation Army?”


“No, I don’t think so.  Besides we’re not in disguise.  I think we’ll have to break in.”  The Doctor took her sonic screwdriver out and set it to mortise locks.  “This should take a few seconds.”


Erin found the inside was in complete contrast to the outside.  The inside was a minimal Spartan white, with some weird looking metal devices that looked painful and probably were too.  “Is this where we’re captured and spend ten minutes being told the villains scheme and then given an opportunity to escape and stop them?”


“You watch far too much TV.”  The Doctor replied.  “Can’t you read more books, instead of those trashy magazines, filled with impossibly thin women wearing clothing two sizes too small for a desiccated skeleton?  This is where we kick ass and kick it hard.”


“Can I be excused?  These are new shoes.”


“It was a metaphor.”


“Oh.  Still any actual kicking, not me, ok?”  Erin looked around to see a number of people wearing purple boiler suits moving towards them.  “Look, see.  We’re going to be captured.”


The Doctor sighed.  “Amateurs.”  She took a sonic grenade out of her handbag and threw it into the crowd.  “That’s better.  I love a good concussion wave.”


Erin helped the Doctor dismantle the machines, by holding them still while the Doctor fixed them with the sonic screwdriver.  “So what do these do anyway?”


“They manipulate the time stream.  They’re very crude and horribly dangerous if activated.  Luckily for us though we’re immune to their effects.  The TARDIS has shielded us from the nasty side effects.  Those people are going to die very nasty deaths.  Being ripped apart by the time winds, not a nice way to go at all.”


Erin felt sorry for them.  “Who are they anyway?”


“I’m not sure.”  The Doctor replied.  “They could be anyone.  They have a basic humanoid look, so they’re probably from the main galactic arms.  Only at the core does nature get inventive.  Take the Rills for instance, lovely people, but an unprepared person could go insane looking at them.  Or the Krynoids, their garden worlds are massive worlds orbiting huge blue giants.  Humans couldn’t live there, you’d all be crushed into fertilizer in a millisecond.  Even I’d find that sort of gravity uncomfortable after a few centuries.”


“I get the idea.”  Erin replied.  She picked up a communications device.  “Maybe we can hack into this?”


The Doctor pocketed the device.  “Good idea, I’ll make an extra cup of coffee for you.  We should really get back to the UNIT base now.”


“Why’s that?”  Erin asked.


“I’m holding a small nuclear bomb.”  The Doctor replied and put it down on the table.  “I always carry one in case of emergencies.  It’s just large enough to destroy this building.  I’ll get Alistair to cordon the area off afterwards.  They can make something up if they want to.  They usually do.”




“She blew the place up!”  Erin told Jo and Carol.  “It was well cool to watch too.  Luckily though there won’t be any fall out and the radiation level will return to normal levels in just a few days.  The Doctor really knows her stuff.”


“I had such a hard time explaining to my Doctor where his car was.”  Jo said to Erin.  “In the end I told him I’d sent her out to be washed.”


Carol looked at the dirty car.  “I’ll put a couple of privates on cleanup duties.  RHIP after all.”


“I hope you make sergeant.”  Jo said to Carol.  “It’ll be nice to have another friendly face in those long boring meetings.”


“Yes, I’m fed up being one of the behind the scenes people.”  Carol replied.  “I really want to make a go of this as a career.”




The Doctor stopped in her tracks.  “I hoped I wouldn’t run into me.”


“My, my, what are you wearing?  Those shoes cannot be comfortable.”


“They’re ok.”  The Doctor turned around to look at her younger self.  “You’ll get used to them when you’re me.”


“Why are you here?”


“Sorting out a problem, something had crossed our timeline, I’m still not sure why though.  I was on my way to give Alistair one of those report things.  He’s still just as obsessed with paper work as I remember him being.  Luckily he does mellow with age.”


“You should leave, they may have forgiven me now, but if they see us then they may just take back my freedom.”


“Well just between you and me you can expect a little peace and quiet for a while, until they eventually call in a favour a while from now.  Such a pity too, so many people died as a result of that.”


The Doctor scratched the back of his neck in thought.  “If I refuse?”


“Believe me, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”  The Doctor frowned for a second.  “Sadly.”


The Doctor noticed two rings on his future self’s left third finger.  “Good grief, did you actually get married?”


“It’s better that you don’t think about that.”  The Doctor replied.  “It broke my hearts.”


“Time wounds all heals.”  The Doctor said comfortingly.


“I sometimes think mine is going to heal over.”  The Doctor muttered to herself.  “Gotta go, take care and give my love to Jo.  Tell her I’ll put the dress in the post when I get the chance, oh and try to enjoy Wales tomorrow.”


The Doctor stared as his future self tottered away in those ridiculous shoes.  Wales?”  He scratched the back of his neck again as a sudden fog of amnesia clouded his most immediate thoughts over.  Had he just been talking to someone?  A woman?  Something about a dress?  She must have been one of Jo’s friends, but how had she gotten in here?  Never mind, he had a better idea.  Metabelis 3!  The sapphire planet.




The Doctor found Erin already inside the TARDIS.  “Ah good, I’m so glad I didn’t have to come looking for you.  We should leave as soon as.  My report didn’t go down as well as I’d hoped.  I’ve never seen his face go that shade of red before.  He even called me a meddling harpy!  Can you believe that?  As if I meddle?  The nerve of the man!”


“Well he was probably upset that he didn’t get to blow something up.  Jo said that he liked explosives.”


“Oh yes, he always a little too quick to destroy what he didn’t understand.  Luckily though my fifth self saved those Silurians with plenty of time to spare.  It’s not easy to cheat time, but if you know how then anything’s possible.”


“So anyone can change history?”  Erin asked casually, looking at the rows of buttons on the control panels.


“Not while I’m about to stop them.”  The Doctor dematerialised the TARDIS and it exploded around them, throwing them both out of time and space into parts unknown!


I really wanted to recreate a 3rd Doctor era story, but with a typical 14th Doctor outcome, by setting the adventure just prior to the opening scenes of The Green Death, Jo's farewell story.  The idea with this story is to follow on from Welcome to the Jungle by the Doctor and Erin seeking out the source of the temporal disruption, but they don't find out who's behind it yet.  I also wanted to write a brief showdown between the 3rd and 14th Doctors but one that's actually fairly pleasent, unlike all the other Doctor/Doctor meetings in the past.  Because the story's set in the Pertwee era I wanted to show the Doctor's unease at having a normal conversation with Erin about girly stuff, because it would never have happened on screen in that time.  I also wanted to expand on the Doctor's arsenal of anti-social mayhem, by having her use bombs instead of her brains, although it could be argued that she uses her brains to find a solution that doesn't involve her fists, as although she's more gung-ho than most Doctor's she's still not as gung-ho as the katate obsessed 3rd Doctor and I wanted to seperate them by showing this.
Erin's arc slowly evolves in this story as she shows more maturity, but still a lot of naievity.  She's naturally more comfortable in an all-female environment than when she is if there's guys around.  She may talk about flirting, but she's yet to develop the confidence to actually deploy her charms with men.

- the home of the 14th Doctor -