A new day and the Doctor was her usual weird self however; she kept looking up at the sky
and muttering about unusual air currents.I ignored her, as best I could.I mean she was ok most of the time but sometimes she just got too strange to even
be near.I’d often end up apologizing to people whom she’d scared
with warnings of terror and fear, or pay the bail money to get her out of jail after she’d gone crazy after one gin
and tonic too many.Last time she’d tried to stop the building of a car
park by melting the concrete foundations with her sonic screwdriver.They were
hoping to put her away for a few years but one quick trip in the TARDIS and there was no need to worry about it again.
Until today that is.For some reason she’d
convinced that the world is going to end today and there’s nothing I can say to get her to calm down.Right now I’m just enjoying this mellow coffee drink and sitting on this park bench and hoping that
people are not scared by the mad woman in the slutty shoes screaming that the end of the world is nigh.
“The armies of the evil one will rise up and devour Doria.”
I rolled my eyes.“It’s me, Doctor,
not some tourist.I don’t give a damn.”
“Well you should.The world’s going
to end, probably.”
I sighed and finished off my coffee, taking care to drop the cardboard container in the nearest
bin.“If the world’s going to end then it’s up to us to stop
it, unless it's you who’s going to end the world.”
“Something ancient and powerful is coming.I’m
never wrong about these things.I had a dream.”
“I had a dream I had a diamond encrusted dog.”I replied with a smile.“I don’t think it meant anything.
It’s just a dream.”
“This was no dream.It was a portent.”
I stifled a yawn.“What kind of portent?”I wasn’t really interested but if she was talking to me then she wasn’t
scaring little kiddies and their mums.Besides there was nothing better to do
on this miserable scruffy planet.I thought a good story might briefly amuse
“We were in a cave, there was a man, and he had piercing dark eyes and a beard.There was thunder and the ground shook like San
Francisco in 1908.”
“You’re just tense.”I replied.“You haven’t had a boyfriend in over a month, it’s just a metaphorical
sex dream, the cave is you, the tall dark stranger is every woman’s fantasy figure and the earth moving under your feet
is your subconscious letting you know that she’s unhappy and wants to get laid.”I hoped I didn’t lay it on too strong, I just figured that if I could divert her attention onto men then perhaps
I wouldn’t be the one the police arrested as the accomplice of the mad woman.
We walked around for a while, but sadly the Doctor failed to score, she didn’t seem
to mind at all either, much to my ire.Not that I saw myself as a Madame but
it was better if the Doctor’s attention was distracted from this end of the world nonsense.We found ourselves in a shopping centre, kind of like the runt of a pack of malls, it had low end equivalents
of all the shops I came to associate with quality merchandise, for instance the drugstore only sold seventeen different types
of underarm deodorant and one of those was for males.I bought a roll on one
which promised the scent of a warm spring day, I was disappointed, but I expected to be by the cheap price asked for it.
“I’m just going to have a look in here.”
The Doctor popped into a health food store; lately she’d been on this detox regime to
purify her insides.Personally I think she should have laid off the drink too,
but she insisted that a glass a day wouldn’t hurt anyone.I had tried and
failed to point out that that glass should not be a pint of aftershock, but she wouldn’t listen, not even after that
time she tried absinthe and I had to hold her hair back out of the way as it ejected itself from her body at high speed.She emerged a few moments later with carrier bags filled with weird smelling herbs
and lumps of things I hoped weren’t toxic, although they sure gave that impression by odour alone.
“They had some fantastic bargains, Erin.I
thought we could make our own body scrub, it’ll save us a fortune in the long run.”
“Thank goodness for that” I replied with a sigh of relief.“For a moment I thought you were going to try and cook again.”
“It’s not my fault that omelette rebelled and threw itself all over your frock.”
I sighed and ignored her feeble apology.“We
should get out of here; this planet is beginning to depress me.”
“Depress you?My dear Erin this
planet is a smorgasbord of delights the like your sarcastic little mind can barely imagine.”
“Well it’s got a lot to do to beat that holiday planet.”I really liked it there, so much so see and do and the candies were delicious beyond words.
“You won’t say that once you’ve had the local delicacy.”
“What’s that then?”I asked.“Some sort of weird phallic shaped symbol of chauvinistic brutality?”
“No, I don’t like savaloy either.I
was thinking fish and chips, covered in malt vinegar, a sprinkle of sea salt and a dab of ketchup on the side.”
“It sounds horrendous.”I muttered,
knowing full well that she was ignoring me now.“I can feel my veins crying
out in protest at the onslaught of cholesterol.”
“Nonsense, a skinny girl like you needs a bit of meat on her bones.”
I could still taste the meal three hours later as we walked back to the TARDIS.The weather had turned, suddenly and violently.The sky was
bruised and promised rain and the temperature was enough to turn blood into ice water inside of my bare arms and legs.The price to pay for wearing a miniskirt I guess.A huge gust of wind blew me over, right on my bottom too, in front of people, including men, who saw it happen too.I felt humiliated as the Doctor helped me too my feet.“I bet those sad pervs over there enjoyed seeing the first glimpse of female underwear in twenty years.”
I was not at all reassured by the Doctor’s level of comfort.“Can’t we just go now?” I asked.“Leave this planet once and for all?”
“Let’s have a drink.”
I was dragged into the nearest pub and at once made a run for the safety of the loo so I could
check my make up and fix my hair in case I looked like a sad old slapper or even worse, a sad sixties slapper who never stopped
being a hippy.I’d met one once, an old friend of the Doctor’s she
was warning enough against clinging onto the past.Luckily my make up was fine,
as was my hair, but my skirt had marks on it and my shoes had scuff marks.Suddenly
my usually high level of self-confidence drained from me and I no longer felt like a fully empowered now chick, I felt tired
and in need of a nice warm drink of hot cocoa and an early night in bed.Reluctantly
I went back into the real world before the Doctor had to come in here and drag me out into it.
“Ah, there you are.I got you a glass of
water, bloody barman wouldn’t serve me unless I had a designated driver.”
“I don’t mind.”I replied.“I didn’t fancy a drink anyway.”
“Are you feeling alright?”
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“It’s just that usually you’re the first to drown her sorrows in a glass.”
“Tonight I just don’t care.I just
want an early night.”
“I’ve pushed you too hard, haven’t I?I’m a 24 hour party Doctor; I don’t need to sleep, much.You
don’t have to try and keep up, in fact I like it that you slow me down.Ever
since Yin died, I’ve had nothing to fill that void in my life.That comfort
and security that comes with having a husband.I guess what I’m trying
to say is I’m trying to stop myself from going off the rails.”
“Then don’t.”I replied and
sat down on one of the few vacant bar stools.“Let’s have a quiet
night in.You can tell me one of your stories and we can just take it easy.I think this planet is really getting to me.All I want to do is get as far away from here as quickly as I can.”
“I told you the world was going to end.”
“Don’t start that again, please?”I asked the Doctor.
In the end we didn’t end up back in the TARDIS, no, we ended up in some sort of ancient
boarding house that was falling apart and in need of a good demolition job if you ask me.My room smelled funny, a weird odour of damp floorboards and failed dreams.This
was the place where desperate people ended their days in quiet misery. I resolved
to leave first thing in the morning, or earlier if I could get the key off of the Doctor.I was getting ready for bed when the Doctor burst into my room.I tried
to cover myself up as best I could.
“You should read this Erin.The
Catcher in the Rye.”
“Put it on the bed Doctor.I’ll read
it in the morning, close the door on your way our, quickly if you don’t mind.”
Once she turned her back on me I dived into the bed and pulled my nightdress on under the
covers.“See you in the morning.”
“Oh we won't get any sleep, Erin.This
house is the centre of the coming evil I’ve been sensing all day.We’ll
be lucky to survive the night even fully prepared.”
“I’m getting out of here.”I
shot out of bed, pulled my shoes on and made for the door.
“We can’t escape it.It’s already
too late to run.It’s found us.”
That was it.I pushed her out of the room, locked
the door and hid under the covers.I faintly heard her voice as she proceeded
to go around warning everyone else the world was going to end.Then her voice
stopped, either she’d been brutally murdered by a crazed maniac with an axe or she’d scored.I secretly hoped for the first option to be blunt with myself.
It must have been about when I awoke.I felt a presence in the room, a baneful figure dressed in white and moaning like the legions of the damned.“What do you want?”I asked
cautiously.A voice spoke to me:
“Become one of us.”
Another voice spoke as the white figure became two, then four, then sixteen then thirty two.
“You belong with us.”
“No thanks.”I replied.“I could never get away with that ethereal undead look.I’m
far too pink and rosy and I want to start a family some day and have kids, maybe win the lottery too, I see a beach and me
in a skimpy bikini and a tall gorgeous guy removing the bikini and then it’s just steamy fireworks for hours and hours
“The follies of the living are beyond you now; you belong with us in the realm of the
The figures formed a circle around my bed and they floated around it in a circle.“I’m not like you, I’m me, I don’t want to join you.”They just grew closer and closer.
“Death is only the beginning.”
“Your place is with us.”
“Become one of us.”
“Your fate is sealed.”
I shut my eyes and shouted for the Doctor as loudly as I could and then I sort of passed out
a bit.Ok, I fainted.
started life as a Halloween spooky story but leant itself to the idea of the Dorians because of its scare factor and
also the central theme of the end of the world...